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Chapter 2: Where Have I Been?

Well Where have I been.?? I have been taking care of me. I have been having my own intervention. My cannabis adventures has kicked me down to look at all my relationships, what isn’t working in my life versus what is, I am cleaning house.

Many of you may have been wondering where I have been?? The Mitzi who faithfully took photos of her birds daily for years.  The Mitzi who made her presence on social media sharing food, fitness, chickens and decorating. The Mitzi who tends to take on too much because the nature of her personality is to not say No… not say “Time to slow down. Well hope your sitting down and have a cup.of tea.. or wine. I just smoked some Blue Dream and I can type better, faster and my thoughts are more vivid right now so , I opened up “LAPPY” short form for laptop. When, I was forced off work S.T (foot injury) I was going stir crazy, my anxiety started to return as I had to deal with E.I and all the problems that come with paperwork. The Doctors and Specialists are a total let down, which I am writing about and the same letter will go to the paper. You cant treat other Humans like this and I will speak up. I already have made some very important phone calls to the “Appropriate People”. Don’t worry, I will get my MRI , I an entitled too. (update) I am on my last set of tests! Be an advocate for yourself!!

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So, I started to document my journey in more ways than one. I have always colored outside the lines of my life,  have been a keeper of the feathers, a spark in the dark kinda gal whom needed to be where the rubber hits the road, where I can make a difference.

I have been dancing to a tune I can only hear, some are starting to catch on to the beat of the drum. it really is a simple song, more Love.  I cant stop the feeling of being Alive, seeing true happiness in the eyes of strangers. Humanitarian work at the ground level. Funny, 5 years ago I was walking across a stage, I stage that instilled leadership, drive, a goose bump larger than any bump in the road of mine.

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The same Mitzi that has had a Mental Health Struggle for 30 years or so. My childhood has not been ” Your average picture book story” It actually is quite sad, disturbing and haunting at times. I had to witness things, kids shouldn’t. Hear things kids shouldn’t, feel things kids shouldn’t.  The Narcissistic Upbringing has affected who I am, Why I do What I do? and becoming a Cannabis Activist and Blogger in my journey. I am an activist in having a voice. I am educated in Mental Health Soon, as well  addiction and human behavior.    I have  realized EVERYTHING, the world around me was all making sense and I can see so much clearer. It really is a blessing, but it can scary as I cant allow negativity,  When my 40th Birthday was approaching, I felt liberated as I had just got “LEGAL” and my anxiety was under control for the first time in my life.

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But this has been  coming for many years.  In February, 2017.  I went into my seasonal depression I tend to get. It comes is spring and the fall around the time my Mom Irene, took her life . Sept 1998 to be exact. It has been over the years my mental health struggles and hormones I can relate to the need to take care of yourself.  I never knew it then but it would be a pivotal point in my life, it doesn’t haunt me anymore.  I was honestly low enough one day (I have had many over the years of my life) the time when my Dad remarried a woman I detest and when the threw out most my mothers ashes  (by accident ..box and all) she said .  Regardless  long before that I was just unhappy with the new relationship so I took my dads fillet knife and put it under my pillow. I cried.  I called the Kids Help Phone. They talked me out if it . Spoke about I was going to do good things when I got older the lady said.  When my Dad didn’t come to my grade 8 graduation I turned into a rebellion child. My dad had given me any attention in all the years I can remember. A very selfish man, whom has seemed to push the last remaining person who truly gave a shit about everything, including forgiveness away, that person was Me.  I said Goodbye during the week I was back from the nightmare “vacation” and the famous Panic Attack in Cuba, that has landed me typing this Blog, becoming a Medical Cannabis patient, advocate, leader and I will become a spokesperson for Suicide Awareness and Mental Health in the future. The trip to Cuba, the trip that changed everything.

Chapter 3. The Trip The Changed Everything.

 

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Welcome To My Story

Cannabis Enthusiast : Craft Edible Creator : Recreation and Leisure Professional : Blogger
A Craft Edible Experience

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