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Gone 22 Years , Barry

Dear Diary,

Today seemed a very odd day, the last two weeks feeling as if I hadn’t blinked, being on auto pilot is numbing. I’ve been happy but yet so busy. Getting into a routine and groove around the home has been challenging. I’m up for it, lol

I woke up this morning and there is a weird feeling within me and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I finished up the 3-Day honey infusion and decided to enjoy the day with the family as our time has been limited as back to work and normal activities has resumed.

Going into the city today we thought we go out for pizza and swimming , of course because I don’t watch much TV just the odd sitcom once in a while that has meaning, I’m now watching this is us on Netflix and I fit find so much peace watching it. Music has impacted my life in more ways than one, listening to the 90s countdown on SiriusXM today communizing into the city : like a lighting bold “the” song triggered a memory so intense it was almost as Barry was beside me.

(Mariah Carey and boys to men,  Had a song duet, something about losing friends along the way, shining down on me from heaven and he popped into my head. It’s been a long time since I thought of him and I will tell you why in chapter 20

My good friend Barry was killed on May 26, 1996 , he was 23. It impacted me greatly.  I have been spending some time on the chapter prior today, I forgot all about this, in a way. I can’t believe he’s been gone that long. He was the next man in my life, although we had no intimate relations he taught me a few things about living.

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I was supposed to be in that car that night, I had to work, waitressing again at another pizza and coffee joint, Barry sat at the restaurant quietly drinking a pot of coffee waiting for me,  I’m not sure if he was drunk trying to sober up, but he had a crush on me and I care deeply about him as a person. He said he’ll wait for me as he was going to a party near the native reserve, After telling him I was just going to head back home to my apartment as I was tired and had a big day with my friend as we were heading out to do a few things together. He must’ve had a few too many drinks as he missed the turn and went over a rock cut near my favourite bridge, he was killed.

The next morning my best friend picked me up, we went to pick up her boyfriend. As he got in the car, he says “did you hear that Barry Rogers was killed last night in a bad car crash, ?? she swung her head around the car seat and looked at me in the back , as I went into shock and I put my head into the chair and I started to cry. I didn’t think that was possible and I went into denial. I just seen him a few hours prior,

After going to his funeral and talking to his mom she had asked me if I ever got that perfume that he went to buy for me in Thunder Bay, I never did get that perfume and I often wondered what kind of smell he would’ve bought me. One thing about Barry, he was so mysterious and he wouldn’t let me in. I know he loved me and he treated me almost like a sister, he protected me as he knew my heart was recently broken. It was something he taught me, respect. Barry taught me respect. Every time I go over that bridge when I go back to northwestern Ontario I think of him, and I’m thankful I went home that night because if I didn’t I may not be able to share all of this with you.

Today is a gentle reminder that a date and a song can trigger the deepest of memories of long gone. But never forgotten.

I miss you Barry, thank you for a meaningful friendship.

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more in Chapter 20: 

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Welcome To My Story

Cannabis Enthusiast : Craft Edible Creator : Recreation and Leisure Professional : Blogger
A Craft Edible Experience

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