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Dear diary,

I’ve decided to say goodbye to my personal Facebook. Those with mental health issues including myself I’m sure have a love-hate relationship with the social media craze.. Boasting about the site to keep people connected is really the opposite. Since starting Facebook I believe my communications decreased , very rarely speaking to those people that I used to because we now are connected through Facebook. Once having a Facebook profile of thousands of FB friends, BIg Deal! during the days where my body was envied by many.  Hard work paid off, yet I still wasn’t happy, but Why? I shut that profile down after numerous scary incidents , messages from strangers during my college days again in 2013. Shortly after a rape near the college and my place of work, that was enough for my anxiety to bail. Popularity isn’t that important, it really isn’t. Be Safe Online.

Social media has a way truly has a way of making us believe , what doesn’t exist, those who are struggling mentally or emotionally scrolling through Facebook looking at other people’s wellness or a façade can be dangerous , it can be.

Funny how people put on showing the world that they’re not struggling those people off to get jealous wondering whether lives are so good. But they’re only showing the world what they want their friend list to see. 

Over the last year I’ve done some social experiments, as I call them just to see how many people actually do support my Facebook profile? Those who actually care about what I’m doing and who I am? When I was off work for seven months struggling with a possible disability, being in the worst seasonal affective disorder I’ve ever been in, dealing with a violent death of my new pet and trying to put a book together after I decided not to go down the road of selling illegal edibles under the alies of lady edible. An idea I stopped due to panic , before all the edibles I made without my pot, someone else’s, free stuff. Was my moment when I realized it was not who I was and what I wanted to do. I had enough illegal activity in my life and for those reading my book will understand. The last 20 years I’ve been in barking myself on such an amazing journey of happiness and to treat others with the most respect and dignity.

Since coming out with who I really a.m. and bringing awareness to so many topics I’m undergoing more stigma whispers stares and comments. I do you look like a whole new person over the last year and a half, yet I’m still the same person but better. Many don’t want to believe the cannabis played a crucial role in the direction I dance in. Please don’t bother me anymore I’ve built up enough courage and confidence to know I’m doing the right thing. I’m helping blaze a trail for people who also suffer in silence like all is happiness. I am just getting started, trust me in this.  Receiving the best complement of being an influencer, something I’ve always been in my adult life providing hope encouraged to people who are brave enough to contemplate taking on the challenge I am. We can win if our numbers grow.

Over the last few months I’ve been removing people from my social media account not because I don’t care about them, I do. Many of which has never stopped to like a personal post , or even stop by the see how I’ve been doing that tells me these people really don’t care about me. Only nosey about my life , where were they when my cries for help were there?? 

I’ve come to realize who has privilege and who doesn’t to some of my most personal things I share such as my family, kids and home.  Those amazing trips we take and capture some of the best memories, who are you allowing to look into your life? I’m becoming selective not because of anything but they prove to me that they really don’t care and that’s OK. I come to learn not everybody wants to see your happiness, looking for ways or a loophole to do nothing but bring you down, something that I will never happen. Negativity doesn’t not belong in my life any longer .

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Welcome To My Story

Cannabis Enthusiast : Craft Edible Creator : Recreation and Leisure Professional : Blogger
A Craft Edible Experience

3 replies

  1. I’ve never been into the social media craze. I try to spend my short time on this Earth in reality. I like how you said you were not letting negativity into your life, I say the same thing. The best friends are the ones you want to spend time with and who take time to spend with you:)

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