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Dear diary,

Sitting amongst the cedar trees I am contemplating about my marriage, as I never thought I’d be here with the stigma again , leading questions with the ignorance of “it’s not gonna work” from him. I have given no reason, as my behaviour hasn’t changed. I hadn’t even had any honey today or anything?

Since February 2017 , during my medicating and learning about cannabis and how it is helping me with what I’ve had to live with all my life. The struggle is inside the human brain but no one has answers to, why we deal with depression, anxiety and unexplained periods of not wanting to live. To me I’ve come to learn living with these issues can be sick form of torture, and although everybody’s looking for the magical holy feeling. 

That’s why it’s extremely important to have a hobby, or something that you can put some inspiration to either for yourself or other people. Writing keeps me accountable and allows others to learn more about Cannabis and how it works with a 40 year old working in the community, living with depression and anxiety to start.

Bizarre as it was finding a white feather on my dashboard followed by 21 showing up 3x today randomly and then a dime had myself telling my daughter something is happening soon. Normally that is what happens in my instincts are always correct, walking in the door from today’s adventures in the city had me caught by surprise. Since I’ve been on my phone more than usual putting together a more recipes, articles about cannabis and parenting. Living with depression and anxiety, and soon going through a diagnosis so that maybe down the road and maybe help people more who are unique like me. People who dance to the beat of her own drum, high but grounded, you should never be push to panic, and I didn’t.

I’ve reached a whole new level, of acceptance of who I am and what my goal is in life. That has never changed, maybe I’m inspiring people in a whole different way but doesn’t matter in what way I am. Nothing has changed for the worst, our marriage actually has improved such as our communication, sex life (After being together 22 years you need to keep things spicy) If you don’t people tend to cheat on their spouse is making a whole array of problems not only for the parents but the children than everybody else involved. I’ve witnessed it first hand, how it could happen to a family, the true destruction it could cause. I have nothing to hide as I’m writing a book, giving people a glimpse into what it’s like to truly live in struggle, to be part of the normal population but achieving higher than most. I just want to help people, I wanna help them via voice, learn a new skill or something that might make them feel good about themselves like my friend Lisa. 

I stopped by to visit her today as my daughter was having her hair done for her 11th birthday surprise as I promised her when I go to her house and never realized how excited she was to see me to show me her masterpiece as she made her own medicine. I was the catalyst she needed to take care of her self and isn’t that what life is about; helping each other out? Inspiring others beyond any idea , totally oblivious what I am doing for others by sharing my story of depression, anxiety and living with stigma.

Lisa made her first batch of her own sliced honey to her needs, and that makes me happy.

After being cornered about the using of cannabis as he is as uneducated about it as any non believer in the use of the plan for medicinal or even recreational purposes. Being alcohol free , nicotine free feels amazing and with the help of THCA in the plants helps keep my appetite at bay, leaving my-weight loss for the last year staggering. The miracle of this plant to have on the ability to stop impulsive eating or behaviours is no short of a gift.

Explaining to my husband who needs some awareness and education. Since he is struggling with this , my last chance is to get us some help through this medical transition, if that don’t work.

I said I can’t live with negativity and stigma for no reason … and with that being said… The Blog worries him, his insecurities of someone blindsiding me again is still raw. I’m a magnetic for those with alterer motives, which has come more awareness to human behaviour and how to avoid getting Involved in situations I don’t need to be part of , (wink)  

Trouble likes to find me, I don’t allow it anymore. 

Everything will be just fine, for those who seen me vulnerable crying on video, showing you life isn’t always Happy!  

Some things are worth fighting for so 

thank you

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Categories: Uncategorized

Welcome To My Story

Cannabis Enthusiast : Craft Edible Creator : Recreation and Leisure Professional : Blogger
A Craft Edible Experience

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