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ITs Almost Friday

Dear diary,

I feel like a zombie this morning as I haven’t slept very well in two days, the change of the temperature with the rain in the humidity amongst gray clouds and sky‘s has this lady needing some extra sativa and honey. I should actually start taking vitamin D again as vitamin D really does help when the sun doesn’t  shine for days on end.

There’s nothing more I want more badly than to call in sick right now and spend the day in bed and cancel the festivities of the day. But as I always do I brush myself off and I find myself some courage underneath the anxiety that’s building to get up and go to work. Recently I found out during my life insurance renewal meeting, where I was nervous as hell because I had to indulge new medical information which return had me worried about my 10 year renewal application. Our advisor was quick to let me know that this world is actually full of anxiety depression and frustration and I was quick to relax to reply really it’s not just me? Which let me to the question what is everybody so anxious and depressed about because clearly not everybody has what I have? Because if they did most people would beWill be looking for ways to constantly make this world better and acting on what they can do with the time that they have in hopes that will make a difference at least in a small amount of lives. To do it on a grander scale would be a dream come true only some chosen for.

I’ve always worked part time all my life I’ve never had a full-time job, I guess I’ve been blessed to not have to find ways to make ends meet with just a part-time career and savings where I can. The cost-of-living seems to be going up constantly, as my salary doesn’t and neither does my husbands Or the majority of the working class.

Nowadays both parents need to work to make ends meet especially if they want to get ahead. Moving to Peterborough with a cardboard box, a hope and a prayer I would make a life for myself ; Shirley was a gamble and it wasn’t long before I was netted by my 22 year man , Not having the opportunity to swim in the waters here, had myself in shock as I didn’t want a relationship. I did everything to avoid one, and here I was faced with decisions. 

So here I put my make up on the wing I got to go to work feeling like a bag of shit. I’ve never realized how people can call in sick all the time get away with it and they really are sick or extra necessity to really be home. I don’t like to take a vantage of stuff like that because when the time really does come and I need that time due to an illness or to a family emergency I have proven to be trustworthy.

So I have a slow cooker going full of fresh chicken, potatoes and peas from our garden. I feel blessed to have what I have because of the people I take care of. The homes I go in and take care of the ones whose lives are on the last chapter. I am apart of it daily, so that gives me strength and courage to get the lift I need to make it through a tired and sore kinda day. 

I look forward to seeing the specialist in the few weeks in hopes to get some answers. A seeker of the truth I am also gives me something to look forward to even if it is the news I’m not looking forward to. Everything happens for reason I’ve come to learn in life and sometimes there’s not an answer that arrives immediately , yet will make sense in the future if you believe in purpose.

With also keeps me going is the fact that I know that if I don’t go to work there may not be someone to take care of the people I take care of a there and that gets me emotional at times as well. It’s the “nursing struggle” We’re strapped, but not enough hours in the day and were always short workers. It’s almost a crisis I think; our government funding. Having a few projects on the go inhopes it can change a few things for the better in the lives of so many has be anxious. Again I’m working a won a hope and a prayer, that what I can do will be the 

Wish me luck, giving up isn’t in my blood

 

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Welcome To My Story

Cannabis Enthusiast : Craft Edible Creator : Recreation and Leisure Professional : Blogger
A Craft Edible Experience

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