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Church and Bad People

Dear diary,

I figure I would update you, it’s been over a week since I’ve been at the doctor at my foot is locked in a position where the bones are rubbing and things are going on in my foot that shouldn’t be. I’m in pain and I can’t describe the inconvenience of this disability I have. Nobody understands pain until they’re in pain and then maybe need May be a little more empathetic to other people who also are in pain. Because I am not a candidate for pharmaceuticals, my options are limited. But I’ve come to learn, not only with my education but my passion for natural health, helping people I’m always doing more above and beyond I can help a lot of people and I’m not doing it illegally. If I can’t find a way to do it by me I am not going to attempt to help anybody with their elements as I don’t have the time. The only way I can find the time, starting my own business. With the last 19 months focusing, and determining if I have a product that I make that is no shy of a miracle. I have a list over 100 people long who want to buy it, but sticking to my word I refuse to go against what I believe in.  I’m doing everything I can, to try and make it happen. Including starting a go fund me account, and writing a vivid book about my life. Opening up the chapters to show the world about mental health, illness, suicide, addiction and working to inspire so many people over the years. All compiled in a Rady green binder I called my professional portfolio. Over 2 inches thick of references, personal Achievements and awards. I could honestly say I feel as if no one’s listening, and those who are closest to me are taking endeavour serious. Samples have lead into more samples, and hands are out for as many freebies as I can; but they can’t donate $10 to my goal to buy a church, so I get help so many people begging me right now. “ Who am I kidding “  echos through my brain, Can I really achieve the I achievable.  It causes me anxiety, when I know the squeeze may not be worth the pain. It was an amazing feeling back in February, when I actually started to believe it could happen.

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I’ve watched other people raise money for stupid things on go fund me, I also watched a lady rip off a homeless person for over $400,000 she raised for that individual, as their go fund me account went viral and she ended up gifting her self but expensive lavish items.  Here I’m trying to put together a life-changing adventure, that would benefit thousands of people especially medical cannabis patients which are in the  hundreds of thousands, looking for someone like me to make natural health products with cannabis for consumption. My passion and drive there’s no doubt I’m going to be successful. But I’ve also come to learn a little bit about life is it doesn’t matter how much you want something and how hard you work it’s either in the cards or it’s not and that will be determined.

After  a man by the name of Bill DeCosmo in Vermont, made me believe since February 2018 that he was a foster kid was Steve Earle and strung me along, little by little making me believe it was a possibility that someone would invest in me. After things started to not make sense, he then sent me a picture of him holding a handgun after a bizarre array of messages. Non which were real, leading to calls to the police in the USA and Canada. Starting this blog: and the story flowing the “Foster Love” bill played into vulnerability that day. “How sad, I thought to myself as now the peices of that puzzle was found. Deterring him from contacting me any further: talking online and offline with readers will be limited for my wellbeing.

Saying a prayer that night to give me The strength I needed to call the police. Everything he told me was fake. I don’t know why he was trying to Luer me to Texas, trying to tell me Willy Nelson was interested in my honey product I make. Telling me and assured me this was not a game. After opening of our fund me account upon his advice so his investors who checked me out was all false. I thought what the hell I have 5000 people around the world reading my blog, as well as a Facebook page of 1300 but I have some dedicated readers and followers of the material that I am putting out there. My loving and giving nature, has attracted some horrible people. Which really saddens me, and makes A little concerned. Maybe the safety of myself as not the worth the risk. Someone will come up with the same idea, because that’s my luck. That doesn’t mean I will dwell on it, just doesn’t mean it’s meant to be I really have tried with this social experiment, to really see what people want. I’ve come to learn there’s very few people like me out there. I think my husband is right … I should have listened. Just not in the cards, Somewhere over the rainbow… Maybe.  

When I look back on how this individual lied to me and manipulated me, and took advantage  as I write about my mom suicide and me being a foster child breaks my heart makes me sick at the same time. No amount of psychology classes in the world can make you understand why someone would do such a sad and horrible act. Maybe knocking the wind out of my sails, did some good. But I did lose sight of my dream for now.

I wonder how Willie Nelson, Joe Hiatt, Joe Walsh and Raul Malo would know what crazy story they were made into. Be safe, online can be a scary place.

 

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Welcome To My Story

Cannabis Enthusiast : Craft Edible Creator : Recreation and Leisure Professional : Blogger
A Craft Edible Experience

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